I said goodbye to my eldest son last week. He left to serve a two-year Mormon mission in Hawaii, which means that I will not be able to talk to him at all for the next 24 months, except for a brief Skype call on both Christmas and Mother’s Day. Email (once weekly) and snail mail will be our only means of communication.
Since he has never been away from home for longer than a week before, the anticipation of sending him off on this extended adventure was a little tough on my heart. I could not be more proud of him and his decision to devote two years to the Lord, but him leaving means that our family will never be the same again. Our years of having all of our kids nestled under one roof are likely gone forever.
That realization, my friends, is the hardest part.
Now that he has been gone for a few days, I miss him, but the ache in my heart has subsided. He is happy, confident, and doing well, and I could not ask for anything more. I know this experience will be exactly what he needs to spring into adulthood, and I greet it with gratitude and faith.
Endings are hard, but they pave the way for beautiful new beginnings that would never be possible otherwise.
We are now entering a new chapter of life that will be sprinkled with several more goodbyes, which is what we get for having five children within ten years. But this is what Greg and I have been working towards for the past 18 and a half years, and will continue to work for until our youngest is old enough to leave the nest.
We love our kids like crazy but want nothing more than for them to grow up and leave home so they can live their own stories. We understand that they were never meant to stay in our care forever. They are on loan for a few years so we can teach and prepare them to stand firmly on their own two feet, thus allowing them to contribute to the good of society in incredible ways.
Of course, we hope they choose to put the things we have taught them to good use and act with responsibility, conviction, and integrity, but they will never be able to fully accomplish those things unless we step back and let them fly.
So, as hard as it is to think about sending four more kids off in the next few years, there is a part of me that cannot wait to see their stories unfold. I look forward to this new stage of life with all of its new beginnings.
Lynette, I have been watching your lovely family grow and flourish. I am blessed to work with your youngest as a cub scout. As your missionary sat there on his last Sunday in church, I thought back to when my kids used to sit in that row…all six of them. When the first one left, I had the hardest time with that row being one emptier. Not too many months later, we attended the high school graduation of child 2 and middle school graduation of child 4 a few hours later on the same day, and two days later, the oldest got married. It was literally a whirlwind, and then months later, child 2 left on his mission, child 1 lost a pregnancy. It was so crazy!! However, I never had things like Blogs and Facebook to realize or even stop and appreciate what was going on. I just did it, often without stopping to think or even appreciate. When child 6 was ordained to a higher priesthood office, we had a wonderful bishop at the time who said, “Stop. Look around. See all these people here who love you, who support you, who will always be here for you. Remember this moment.” The message was for him, but it also touched my heart. I do believe it was the first time I stopped as well.
You, Lynnette, are wise beyond your years. You have taken time to stop as this, your first child, took these important steps and achieved great milestones. You didn’t let the hustle and bustle of the many things younger children need interfere with your last precious time with your son. I realized by the last one, and just stopping, remembering, and appreciating each moment is the best advise I can give….and you already have and will continue to do that!
Suzzy, you are amazing! Thank you for your incredible insight. I always love to hear the thoughts of those who are a little ahead of me in life. There is so much wisdom in what you say. I have tried to soak it all in, and I do think that has helped. I do have four left to go, however, so I will remember your words. Thank you!
Oh Lynnette! I teared up reading this just thinking what my world will be like in a few more years. I look up to you and your hubby so much, as parents, but also just as awesome people 🙂
Thank you, April! Right back at ya!
Lynnette,
I am sitting here tearing up as I read your blog. We are sending our oldest to Mexico on Tuesday. Like you I am so excited to see their journeys unfold and also mourn that our family is now a little different. Thank you for all the wise wisdom you share.
Sara, old friend, it is so good to hear from you! I will be thinking of you this week as you say goodbye to your son. Lots of hugs and well wishes coming your way. He will be a fantastic missionary!