I read this post a few days ago, and I felt like the author was speaking directly to me. I realized after reading her words that I have been wasting WAY too much precious energy focusing on all the wrong things. There is something inherently terrifying about putting so much of myself out there for the world to see, read, and judge. With how vulnerable I feel, I worry far too much about the numbers. How many people are reading what I am writing? What do they think of my work? How many people “like” it, leave a comment, or share my words with their friends? It only seems logical that they might hate it if they don’t “like” it, and if people hate my ideas, they might also hate me.
As much as I believe in being real, which is what this whole blog is about, I regrettably feel like part of my individuality sometimes gets lost in the shuffle of trying to write what I think people want to hear…and then discovering that I have no idea what they want to hear. The reality is that everybody wants to hear something different, and I cannot speak to every heart, as much as I would like to. I never know when something I say will strike a chord with people who may take offense when none was intended. Some people will think I am way off base, no matter what I say, because they see life and family in a completely different light than I do…and that is okay. As much as I would love to make a positive difference for a huge number of people, the reality is that I may never accomplish that, but does that mean that my work has been in vain?
I love what the author of the post that I referenced above said:
It’s hard to do something good for the world when you’re focused so much on yourself.
Maybe you were meant to influence a small circle of people. Those people need you.
Maybe you were put here to pour into the tiny people tugging on your shirtsleeve. They need you.
Maybe you were designed to stand on a stage in front of thousands to preach or teach or sing. (Not me. Definitely not me.)
Whatever you were made for, don’t miss it because you are constantly turning to the right and to the left. Keep your head up. Keep your eyes locked in to what matters. Pour into things that last.
Those words speak to my heart. When I think about what I hope to accomplish with this blog, I realize that it is not about how many people follow or unfollow, like or unlike. It is about individuals. It is about sharing what little I have to offer, and then hoping that it will help even a small number of people to find hope, perspective, and light. That will likely not happen if I lose myself in the process of trying to guess what people want me to share, and who they want me to be.
So, follow me for who I am…or don’t.
If you don’t like what I have to say, that is okay. We can still be friends, and I will not be sad when you choose not to read my work.
The bottom line is that you and I will never become who we were meant to become if we spend our lives trying to be everything to everyone instead of being true to ourselves. So today I am letting go…of the constant nagging worry about whether or not I am writing the “right” things…of my unrealistic expectations that I should be able to make everybody happy…of the idea that the number of likes, comments, and shares determines my success or failure…and focus instead on being a good influence for those in my small circle by BEING MYSELF and living the best life that I can live.
I may not be able to reach everybody, but hopefully my words will help somebody…even one person…and that will be enough.