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Episode 010: What Teens Wish Their Parents Understood With Elise Sheppard

Parenting Podcast (Archive)

22 Apr

We’ve been in the thick of the teenage years for quite some time now. While I do love it for so many reasons, it can also be a challenge.

For starters, teenagers do not see things the same way adults see them. Rapidly changing technology seems to exacerbate the disconnect because, at least in my world, teens are all about the latest tech, and I am a little more likely to hold back on that sort of thing. I want to say, “Hey, dear teenager whom I love, PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE AND LOOK AROUND! There is a whole world to see that does not live in the palm of your hand.”

And the teens are thinking, “Stop bugging me about my phone! My social life is all wrapped up in this device.”

And the battle rages on.

Whether we are talking about technology or curfews, teens and their parents are prone to misunderstanding each other. I, my friends, fall right into that category. I often find myself scratching my head and wondering what in the world is going on in the heads of my teens. I think they might be from another planet. Or maybe I am. Either way, the struggle is real.

In a rather selfish move, I asked my 16-year-old daughter, Elise, to come on the podcast and talk to us about things teens wish their parents understood. While hesitant at first, she quickly agreed, for which I was beyond grateful. This was my chance to get a tiny peek into her head, which I knew would provide some much-needed insight. So this episode was born.

Our conversation with Elise was completely unscripted. She had written an outline, which we briefly discussed before recording, but neither Greg or I had the outline in our hands. She was leading this ship, and we were coming along for the ride.

Elise has some fantastic insight and wisdom beyond her 16 years. If you have teens or will at any point in the future, you won’t want to miss it.

Here is a quick outline of the things we discuss:

  1. School is stressful and exhausting
  2. Sometimes, I don’t want to talk about my day. I just want to be left alone.
  3. If I take my frustration out on you, 9 times out of 10, it is because there is something else going on. It’s not you.
  4. When teens ask for advice, remember that everything is not black and white, and there might be some things you don’t understand.
  5. Don’t belittle your teens’ problems, even if they might seem small to you.
  6. When you try to force teens to talk, it makes them want to talk less.
  7. Some teens are struggling with things and they open up to their friends, but not their parents because they are worried their parents won’t believe them.
  8. A lot of teens do not talk to their parents because they think they will get in trouble or their parents will freak out.
  9. It takes courage for teens to open up to their parents, especially if they have done something wrong. Parents who stay calm and supportive rather than flying off the handle, shaming, or belittling their teens will have better luck getting their teens to talk to them.

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« Episode 009: Finding Hope While Raising Teens and Young Adults
Episode 011: Help! My Kids are Never Ready on Time! »
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