April 28, 2026
Here I sit, fingers on the keyboard, ready to write about the joyous and complicated emotions stirred by several intersecting events that leave me wiping away a few tears and gearing up for what comes next.
*Deep breath*
Here we go, starting with another BYU grad in the house. Let’s rise and shout for Elise!
I don’t know how we got here, because I am certain her high school graduation was just a few months ago. But, apparently, since then, she has completed her Bachelor’s degree in Experience Design and Management AND served an 18-month mission.
Time disappears faster than a bag of M&Ms at the Sheppard house during General Conference. (Trust me when I tell you that is FAST!)
I am so stinking proud of this girl. She worked her tail off to finish her degree in 3.5 years. When classes were tough, you could find her in the TA lab for hours at a time, doing all she could to grasp concepts that felt impossible. (Econ and Finance, I’m looking at you!)
In addition to coursework, she secured jobs that strengthened her resume, planned and executed a sizable portion of the Foundations of Leadership conference for incoming freshmen, completed two vastly different internships to gain experience across multiple areas of her field, and worked as a TA.
She survived the Provo dating scene (barely…she has INSANE stories), navigated the ups and downs of friendship, did the work to figure out who she is and what she wants out of life, and proved to herself that she CAN do hard things. (“Sheppards do hard things” is our family motto for a reason!)
And, while the job market is tough (50 applications, MANY interviews, multiple hiring managers expressing some version of “It will be hard to find somewhere better than you,” and 50 rejections so far), the future is clouded by uncertainty (What about those bills?), and many things have yet to fall into place, I know she will navigate the challenges like the girl boss she is.
Transitions are always muddy, especially when they are accompanied by unmet expectations and dreams that haven’t quite come true. Yet.
I am trying to hold space for all of it, with absolute confidence that her future is as bright as they come. Yet, it feels heavy because there is nothing I can do other than encourage her as she walks the foggy path in front of her.
And then there’s the ambiguity felt by a recently returned missionary trying to figure out what is next for her. Is law school in her future, and should she change her major to reflect that? And what about friendships that feel different after 18 months of serving the Lord? And SHE is different in SO many ways, so where does that leave her in this unfamiliar space?
I feel the weight of that, too.
Then, too, there’s the PhD student with a young family who is just trying to keep his head above water while preparing for a future that feels so slippery. And another recent college graduate whose graduation in a tech-related field came at exactly the wrong time. (Hello, massive layoffs, thanks to AI.) Finding a job in the field in which he worked SO hard to graduate currently feels like finding a needle in a haystack.
And the soon-to-be high school graduate whose parents are moving across the country one week after he graduates? He will say goodbye to everything familiar the day after graduation when he leaves Arizona for a summer job at Aspen Grove (with his sister), followed by a mission in the fall. It’s like saying goodbye to a lifetime all at once.
I raised my kids to be independent, which means I trust them to navigate transitions and challenges with my encouragement and God’s help, and they do it remarkably well (for the most part). But that does not mean I don’t feel the heaviness of it from time to time.
Perhaps that weight is currently amplified by the challenges I now face as I prepare to start over in almost every way. I feel like I won’t be able to fully process what that means until Greg and I get settled in our new home. So, in a way, I want to rip off the band-aid and get there already.
Limbo is the worst.
But I also don’t want to go because closing a beautiful chapter and walking into the vast unknown is a little terrifying.
So, basically, I’m a hot mess. And that is complicated by the roller coaster of emotions I feel as I watch my kids navigate diverse obstacles along their individual journeys.
I know the weight of their challenges is not mine to carry, and trying to do so only heightens the intensity of my ascent. I also know Christ can and will carry the weight for them and for me. But sometimes, in the middle of the mess, when I cannot see the outcome, it is still hard.
It is hard to turn my kids’ journeys over to God, trusting that He has their back.
It is hard not to feel like their path is somehow my responsibility.
It is hard to move from hands-on mothering to the support staff, whose job description involves cheering from the sidelines, even (and maybe especially) when things are going poorly.
It is hard to watch your grown child struggle without trying to fix everything.
It is hard to remember that the most difficult patches of life shape us into who God needs us to be, and interfering in that process for our kids gets in the way of His work.
It is hard to let things be hard for the ones you love the most.
But, if we invite Him into our messes, God shows up in the hard. That is where He does His best work.
So, in this season of stretching, where so very few things are certain, my faith in Him remains. He is my guide. My rock. My friend.
He’s got me. He’s got my kids. I don’t need to carry their burdens because He already has.
And my burdens – the ones that legitimately belong to me – can be light if I turn them over to Him. Doing so does not illustrate weakness, but strength.
Strength in Him. Trust in His promises. Hope in the future He has made possible.
So, this is me, letting go of the weight of a million things I cannot control, handing it to the One who has already carried it to the top of the mountain for me. And now, His burden is light, making it easy for Him to carry mine.
I’ve got this because He’s got me.
Let’s do this thing!
**Read the rest of this series here.
